My Story
I had my first drink when I was 14. I still remember the moment sitting with my family at a resort in San Antonio when my grandfather handed me a vodka tonic and said, āYou learn to drink responsibly with your family.ā From that point on, drinking became part of my life. I drank in high school, throughout college, it was just what everyone did. I drank too much, threw up more times than I can count, and swore Iād never drink again after every brutal hangover.Ā
In my twenties, the party lifestyle continued, pre-gaming before going out, clubbing until 2 a.m., and often ending the night at an after-party. I drank excessively and thought it was normal. But fast forward to 2020, during the height of the COVID pandemic, and things took a dark turn. Isolated, anxious, and looking for ways to cope, I found more and more excuses to drink. It became constant. And scary. What was once social had turned into something deeper. Something I couldnāt control anymore.Ā
In January of 2021, I woke up sick, shaking, and crying from drinking too much the night before. I looked in the mirror and said out loud, āI canāt do this anymore.ā Alcohol wasnāt just a habit, it had completely taken over my life. It dictated my thoughts, my schedule, my energy. I was constantly planning my next drink: how to get it, when I could start, how to hide it. Whether it was a celebration, a stressful day, a holiday, or just Tuesday, there was always an excuse to drink. It had numbed my body, my emotions, my marriage, and almost everything I loved about myself. My family and husband tried to help, but the truth is, no one can make that decision for you. I had to want to quit for myself and that moment in the mirror was it.
Giving up alcohol was the hardest and best thing Iāve ever done. I made the decision and committed 100%. I knew I was an all-or-nothing person; when Iām in, Iām all in. I started counting my sober days: 5 days, 3 weeks, 30 days, 60, 120ā¦ now it's over 4 years (1,553 days). I use an app called āI Am Soberā that helps me track it. I knew I had to change my habits because everything I did revolved around alcohol. I filled the gap with things like cooking, painting, adult coloring books, reading, working out, even sucking on lollipops when I craved sugar or the oral fixation of drinking. Those little substitutions helped more than I can explain.
Quitting drinking forced me to feel everything I had been running from for over 20+ years. I had to sit with emotions I never gave myself the space to process. I started to ask hard questions: Why was I numbing? What was I afraid of? What was I missing? Slowly, I began healing, layer by layer. I also started to repair my relationship with food. No more binge-restrict cycles or guilt. I didnāt starve myself or follow some fad. I just focused on eating real, nourishing food, prioritizing protein, drinking more water, and tuning in to my bodyās cues. For the first time in decades, I could actually feel when I was full.
When I gave up alcohol, I also knew I had to take back control of my health. I was overweight, inflamed, and exhausted. At first, I just walked, every single day. Not only for the weight, but to clear the fog. It became my anchor. Later, I added strength training. Lifting weights didnāt bulk me up like I feared, it helped me drop weight faster and feel strong from the inside out.
This transformation didnāt happen overnight. I had to be patient and consistent. The first 20 pounds came off quickly, but after that, it was a slow and steady climb. I took progress pictures so I could see changes even when the scale didnāt move. Over 3.5 years, I lost 100 pounds. But more than thatāI rebuilt my health, my marriage, my confidence, and my life. I found peace, purpose, and pride in who I am.
Most importantly, I learned how to love myself again and that changed everything.